4.22.98

I find happiness here in skating through the city streets late at night, talking with homeless people who are more intelligent and good-natured than I’ll ever be, and sitting on benches reading richard brautigan stories. I can’t bring myself to get immersed in college, and I think my aversion to doing the typical college things have made me more of an outcast than I ever thought I would be. People have stopped asking me months ago to go out on weekends knowing I don’t drink, and really dislike clubs and clubbing and anything like that. I’ve got one real friend here but otherwise I feel lonely and mostly unfulfilled.

My fondest memories of my college experience have nothing to do with the school I go to, and everything to do with the city that surrounds it. I remember talking through a night with a woman who still greets me warmly each time I pass, even if I don’t have any change to give her. I remember finding a garden next to a church late one night, and sitting in the absolute darkness of a tree, feeling wonderfully far away from everything. I remember skating a bank from late at night until the sun came up, then collapsing in bed to wake up the next night and do it again. In a couple of weeks, I get to go home, and spend my nights hitting all the local spots that have occupied my thoughts here.

I’ve been listening to this CD by band called The Broadways almost nonstop for a week, it’s that good. My favorite song is called 25 degrees north, and I’ve written the lyrics here because I think they’re amazing. You can hear the song in real audio with this link: http://gwis2.circ.gwu.edu/~svoss/25degreesnorth.rm.
(to open this, open your real player, then go to open location, and put in http://gwis2.circ.gwu.edu/~svoss/25degreesnorth.rm)

I sometimes wonder if I’d be capable of what this guy did (this is a true story, I e-mailed Brendan, the lead singer, and it’s for real), just throwing all I own away, and living a life so much nearer to my ideals than it is now. I read an amazing book by Jon Krakauer called Into the Wild about a similar guy who gave up everything, and lived in the Alaskan wilderness, and was found dead a couple of months later. The story is beautiful, but sad, and wonderfully interlaced with moments from Krakauer’s life that show him to be not so much different from the person he’s writing about. You can read the article that lead to the book here: http://outside.starwave.com:80/magazine/0193/9301fdea.html

25 degrees north

my friend gave everything he owns away
my friend says he’s happier that way
he says did you ever notice the more you own, the more worries you have?
I thought about my rent check and my bank account and couldn’t help but understand
He told me that he’s going back to santa cruz to live on a boat without a phone or a thing in his hands
And I’m staying in chicago to work and go to school and fuck off with my shitty fucking band and he said:
Brendan you should try it, it makes you feel so good
So I threw away a stereo and some clothes to show I understood
Down on the gold coast the people look so happy
Money gets you laid, I saw it on tv
A brand new car, vcr a satellite dish and a 6 pack are just a few parts of this american dream
Well my friend had a dream to be free
he made it come true by giving away his tv
yeah my friend had a dream to be free and he made it come true with a backpack and his feet
when I walk along the city streets no one smiles or talks to me
I’ve seen possessions that run people’s lives
Everything we own makes us afraid to be friends
Sharing used to be natural
It’ll never be that way again
My friend relearned to be a human being
How to stop and talk to people on the streets
He gave everything he owns away and lives his dream with a backpack and his feet

-Steve