to issue #2 of My World. This should end up being a little shorter than
#1.5. This time there are things by other people. The letter to the
editor is by my friend Pam, who writes Drop Out Zine. The Black Panther
Party 10-point program was written by the Black Panthers. The art was
stolen from a book that was illustrated by Miriam Arguelles. In the
next issue I would like to do reviews. Send me anything to review and
I will find something I like about it(even if I mostly hate it). Only
good reviews will be given, don't confine yourself to just music and
noticed two different things in the newspaper on the same day.
#1)The entire amount of tax dollars spent on the US nuclear arsenal
from the very beginning to today is 4 Trillion dollars.
#2)The amount of the US deficit today is 4 Trillion dollars. I guess
somehow they have most of the people here too strung out on TV, dope,
work, etc., to notice that they spent 4 Trillion dollars that they haven't
even stolen(IRS) from us yet, to build bombs that we will never use.
They will charge the future generations for this expense. It occurred
to me that if we never built all those bombs that there would be no
national debt. Yet the people in government keep playing the charade
of "how do we balance the budget?". I keep hearing the same rich white
congress people who appropriated the cash for the bombs saying now that
it is the fault of single mothers on welfare that there is a national
debt/budget problems. They seem to fail to mention that these women
are on welfare because: 1)The men left, 2)The most important work to
be done in our society, raising kids, is economically devalued to the
point where it is completely unpaid work, because part of the patriarchy
we live inside of states that women, children and people of color are
our(white males) servants and they don't need to be compensated for
their labors. If you paid a woman $5 an hour for childrearing, which
is a 24 hour a day job365 days a year 19 years long: 5x24x365x19=$832,200.
This comes to 43,800 a year, $3650 a month, as opposed to the $400-600
a month they receive on welfare.
the people who set these policies are blaming the victims of their bad
planning for the fact that the system doesn't work. This stuff makes
me want to further both the group and the idea, Food Not Bombs, as much
as I can.
sort of thinking it might be a good idea to collectively go to the "defense
industry" and return the useless missiles for a full cash refund. 4
The other day I went on the Friday the 13th critical mass and saw the
ride fall apart due to what seemed to be a near consensus opinion that
it was more relevant to go to a party than to do the ride. I don't want
to go into details, that's just the way I saw that day(probably heavily
misconstrued). What I did want to bring up was the things that bond
the members of our community. I never thought of it much until lately
I decided to abstain from Heroin, Cocaine, Speed, Acid, Pot, Alcohol,
Sex, Coffee, Cigarettes and then later Sugar. Until then I never questioned
the fact that almost every bond made in our community was made of the
above mentioned items.
there are a few reasons for this lack of questioning(that we wouldn't
accept in other areas of our lives). First, I think we have a large
vested interest in not acting in an authoritarian manner towards other
people. I know I have a lot of trips with this one, as my parents had
me locked up(beatings, mental hospital, jail, juvenile hall, group home,
non-consentual homelessness at 14) on numerous occasions for things
like suspicion of possession of pot(they have been on alcohol every
day of my life). Second, I think that we use the nessecary drug etiquette(some
things not being OK to talk about for legal reasons) as an excuse to
not deal with some things at all. Third, I think we all contain some
of our societies alcoholic condition of denying the existence of some
of the things that are so obviously with us.
that a lot of us hold the idea that some(heroin,cocaine, speed and sometimes
alcohol) chemicals are bad for the formation and stability of community.
But for the three reasons mentioned above it seems to be shunned to
hold that same idea about pot, acid, sex and the other so called soft-drugs.
I saw all
of us(including myself) do nothing when some of us(including myself)
would do occasional to regular use of the so called hard drugs. I thought
it was not my place to do or say anything because of the aforementioned
experiences with my parents. This way of thinking dictated to us the
idea that we had to sit and watch our brothers and sisters die if that
was the direction that they were headed. I certainly don't want to ever
promote trying to interfere with a persons right to do whatever the
hell they want to, but I don't think that means we have to be silent
among ourselves about some peoples actions troubling us. I think there
may be some sort of middle ground between becoming what we hate and
suffering in passive silence.
watched relationships loosely based on using chemicals and sex form
and disappear over and over. The only relationships I've seen last very
long in my own realm of reality are the relationships formed while undertaking
actions like squatting over the last four years, the people I've meet
while actively dealing with the universities attacks on the park, the
people I've gone to jail with over all the attempts to go across the
bay bridge with out a car, the people who do Food Not Bombs with very
clear intentions of getting the food out, and the woman I traded blood
with in order to become siblings.
last decade I've learned all that I know about how oppression is maintained.
It seems to me that one of the biggest tools that they have is divide
and conquer. It took quite awhile longer for me to recognize how easy
it is to divide people whose bonds are mainly composed of getting loaded.
I also thought I was over reacting in my thinking until I went over
a mental list of how I had come together with all the people that I
did work with and how different my bonds to those people seem to be
just in the absence of a few drugs. Just remember It's no big deal.
How many times have I heard some human in a suit or a frat costume telling
me to get a job, as though an absence of a job means something besides
not having a job. I could work at McDonalds(and destroy the peoples
land in south america, torture cows with factory farming, poison people
here and encourage people to not cook for themselves), I could work
at a book store( and destroy the chances of our kids having trees and
air to breath next century), I could work at a bank( and uphold the
current situation of a few people having more wealth then they could
possibly know what to do with, while most people are their indentured
servants), I could work at the auto factory( and help put millions of
tons of toxic waste into our childrens air, while encouraging people
to drive which makes the air putrid, kills more people than guns annually
and make us fat and lazy), I could work for the fruit industry( and
ensure the subversion of third world DEMOCRACIES by our secret military),
I could work for the police(and contribute to the imprisonment of almost
exclusively young, poor, black males, does genocide ring a bell), I
could work digging metals or oil out of the ground(and ensure the further
poisoning of the earth), I could get a job with the U.S. military(and
keep the world safe for economic exploitation of the third world, world
domination, weapons manufacturers profits, capitalism. Mean while your
tax dollars buy overpriced bombs to kill people, towns, communities
just like you), I could get a job making or selling cigarettes( which
will kill our fellow people), I could get a job at a hospital(and teach
people anything but how to live in a way so that they wouldn't need
hospitals/drug people for not conforming to the mental/emotional paradigm),
I could sell real estate( for such high prices that people will be indebted/enslaved
forever), I could rent people houses to live in( at prices so high that
people will have to work for others for the rest of their lives), I
could build houses for a living(and destroy all of the other living
creatures houses), I could work at a grocery store( and ensure that
people don't learn how to grow their own food), I could work at a coffee
shop( and keep everybody on legal low grade speed).
any job I could get would invariably uphold the fundamental capitalist
principals. For example, large amounts of goods costs less per unit
while less amounts of goods cost more per unit, no it's not just the
typical drug dealer economics, it's also a way of ensuring that the
few with all the cash(THE RICH) are the only ones who get the advantage
of buying in large quantities therefore ensuring that they will remain
rich and dominate forever. Remember you may get a little piece of this
"pie", but never enough to make you or your people free and never enough
to buy back this world which was stolen from all of us. Lastly, many
of us use the excuse that we need to pay rent as a way of justifying
being anothers slave, it would be good to remember that we live on what
was and is rightfully Native American land. Rent is only a scam dreamed
up by those who falsely claim to own this continent.
ALL THE WHITE MAN
How many times have I heard the teachers say that it's too late to make
amends for the fact that we almost completely genocided various Native
American peoples. It just happened. To bad. Really it's no big deal,
just cuz we killed 15 times as many Indians as Hitler killed Jews. We
sure have a lot of shit to talk about Germany, but none about ourselves.
It makes sense that the establishment justifies the slaughter of 90
million with the acquisition of enough land so that every white man
can have 100 kids and each one can cut down their own forest, and so
on. It doesn't make as much sense that we echo that same sentiment today,
seeing as how we don't recieve the rewards of the slaughter anymore.
We don't get all the free land that they clear(KILL) the people off
of. We don't get shit. We get 40 hours a week and enough left over after
rent, bills and taxes to buy a little beer or crack to forget our misery
for awhile. We get enough credit to keep us indebted and enslaved for
the rest of our lives.
back to our history teachers. They try to convince us in one class about,
America and justice and truth and what's right, and at the same time
that it's OK to kill for land, enslave for labor, torture for control,
etc. They say that there is nothing we could do about it now. They always
admit to what happened after the fact and then they say"oh it's too
late to do anything about it".
got caught today for theft and was prosecuted you would have to pay
restitution(they would call this justice). If you told the white men
that they would have to pay restitution for the land stolen from the
Indian, you would be told to live in the real world. When our so-called
educators tell us it is too late to make up for what we did, it just
means that they are afraid of losing the privileges and convieneces
brought/bought by genocide and slavery and "civilization". It means
we as a race don't today have the courage to make amends for what we
did. It means like our parents, we are afraid to have to fend for ourselves
in a world where humans are not on top of a food pyramid but rather
part of a food chain like biology teaches us.
last year the white buffalo was born.
last year I have witnessed the return of rains and the return of one
snowy white egret walking slowly up one of the few remaining streams
in Berkeley(Strawberry Creek), swooping on fish and bugs out of the
creek. I think that there will be many more pieces of nature coming
back into our world(cities) to be at home again. I hope that this time
we have the sense to learn respect because this time I think if we are
unwilling to adapt and take our rightful humble place then there will
be no place for us at all.
It has always bugged me how the society that: covers the entirety of
our urban areas with cement, burns petroleum like there's no tomorrow,
utilizes nuclear power before knowing how to deal with the by-products,
establishes "safe" levels of poisons in our food, cuts down the vast
majority of the trees that create the oxygen we breath has the nerve
to put up signs that say shit like "don't litter". Like in the center
of an entire culture of shit, whether my candy bar rapper goes in a
garbage can or on the cement really matters. The rulers get to(only
because we let them) define what trash is and isn't. If I put my little
bit of trash in the garbage can then I'm supposed to feel good about
myself. Where does it go from there, in the ground. A little bit more
poison in the land our food grows in, the water we drink, the air we
breath. Is there really somewhere good to put trash? Outer space? Why
don't they ever bring up not making the trash in the first place? Probably
because government and multi-national corporations are the same entity.
They think that it's more important to sell us a ton of crap that we
WILL drown in rather than give up their control of the Earths resources
and our lives and minds and bodies. I don't really know what the answer
is but I have met many people who have learned how to deal with their
needs by their own work. Some of the things I've seen are, gardening
rather than safeway, sewing rather than the gap, welding bikes rather
than ford, squatting and camping rather than rent, etc. They all cost
less or nothing and there is no packaging to be buried later.
idea I had was to somehow(I'm not trying to encourage crime or anything)
disable the cities garbage collection and removal systems, so that people
will be forced out of their denial about garbage going somewhere appropriate.
We would then be realistically facing whether or not we want to live
in a dump or not, when we don't think it's just going somewhere else.
Right before I got kicked out of High School I took a biology class.
Every time I went to the class I noticed things that are supposed to
happen in the world, according to biology, that are against the "LAW".
When we eat food we are taking in nitrogen from our food which originated
in the soil. We are supposed to return that by urinating and defecating
on the ground, an act which happens to be illegal. So instead we build
immense systems of pipes under everything, send our waste to a place
where we add tons of chemicals to it and then put it in the water we
drink, fish and swim in. When we die we are supposed to rot back into
the ground. That is the least we can do to play our part in the cycle
we call the food chain, however you would get in serious trouble if
you got busted putting a friend or relative who had passed away in the
ground in your backyard. At night time you are supposed to go to sleep.
If you don't subscribe to the reality of wage/rent slavery, then any
way you deal with your need for shelter/warmth at night is totally illegal.
If you don't own/rent a piece of land it is illegal for you to go to
sleep. It is illegal to have a fire to keep warm in many places. It
is illegal to hunt. It is illegal to use the resources around you to
make yourself shelter because everything is already privately owned
or is "public property", which means that since your a part of the public,
you don't get to use any of it. Go Figure? Unfortunately, laws can't
eradicate the need for things like sleep, shelter, urination, deification,
burial, etc. they can only attempt to eradicate the people who are landless.
My parents used to always say that god/religion is for people who couldn't
deal with the real world. Of course they drank alcohol every day so
I guess that means they couldn't deal with the real world either. Anyway,
as a result of their abandoning of their parents faith/churches I was
never brought to even one church service by them. While I lived with
them I went along with the party line of "fuck god and all that stuff",
without really thinking about it much. The kids next door had to deal
with a catholic upbringing and they told me all sorts of crazy things
about how god keeps a book of all my good deeds and bad deeds and how
it would be tallied at my death and I would be sent to heaven or hell.
There were so many obvious contradictions in what their parents said
about their religions(peace, goodness, justice, truth) and what they
did in real life(violence, anger, constant punishment, lies), I figured
all their god stuff was crap(as my parents told me). Later on I learned
about the reality of the history of christianity. Murder, slavery, war,
genocide, theft, rape. At this point in time I thought that the above
crimes against humanity were evidence of the nonexistence of god.
I got put in juvenile hall for being myself and all there was to read
was Sweet Valley High books and the bible. Needless to say I read the
entire set of sweet valley high books before I even considered opening
the bible. Eventually though I did open the bible. I read it about ten
or twenty times. Alot of it seemed to say "god's peace" in between the
various accounts of wars. It seemed a little weird. However some of
what it said seemed totally right on. Which really blew my mind, because
all the christians I knew wanted nothing more than to be super-rich.
Yet their bible seemed to say that it was easier to get a camel through
the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of
heaven. Plenty of these people seemed to support things like WWI, WWII,
dropping nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, destroying the people
of Viet Nam, ruining the lives of the soldiers(children) we send all
over the earth and capitol punishment even though their bible say that
"thou shall not kill". There are about a million other examples that
I don't need to mention cuz we have all seen them a thousand times already.
Anyway, I was left with the idea that all the religion stuff was probably
crap, but maybe the problem was all the people that claimed to be christians
were fakes. Later on in life I found myself at my friends moms house
and I was on some acid. My girlfriend was suffering from a pretty bad
case of strep throat. I couldn't get to sleep, so I ended up sitting
there watching her sweat and cough and look miserable. For the first
time in my life I felt really powerless over something. I didn't really
know how but I got on my knees and in my head asked for god or whatever
It is to help her feel better. About fifteen seconds later she started
sweating profusely and broke her fever. Moments later she proceeded
to awaken and tell me how she had a dream that an encompassing light
came down over her head and made her well. At this point I had to reassess
my thoughts about god.
year later I was living in a house in north Oakland renting the couch
in the living room. There was some weird people living with us who belonged
to this cult thing called the OTO. We would do lots of speed and talk
about all kinds of voo doo, magic, etc. By this time in our lives we
had all read the bible enough to be familiar with it. So anyway one
day on the TV news we saw something incredible.
book of revelations 6:12/6:13 it says, "I looked when he opened the
sixth seal, and behold there was a great earthquake; and the sun became
black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood. And the
stars of heaven fell to the earth..." Also 8:11, "..A third of the waters
became wormwood, and many men died from the water", and 9:9, "And they
had breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the
sound of chariots with many horses running into battle", and finally
13:18, "Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the
number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: his number is six
hundred, three score and six."
all sitting around watching the local evening news because we wanted
to know what was going on with the US - Iraqi conflict. In one half
hour we saw the following: an earthquake, a shot of the sun turning
black as a result of the burning oil wells, the moon was red in another
shot also as a result of the burning oil, lights(scud/patriot missiles)
falling from the sky, Oil pouring into the sea, turning the water black,
in the same place where that community desalinated the sea water to
drink, helicopters flying, and after all that we heard the news caster
casually refer to UN resolution 667 in regards to the conflict. That
one was too much so I went straight to the library to find out what
resolution 666 was. It said something like this: The UN holds sole(soul)
power to relieve human suffering in Iraq.
in regard to the fact that a previous resolution says that it's illegal
for anyone to sell or give any food, clothing, medicine, etc. to anyone
in the country of Iraq. I remembered various Berkeley paranoid conspiracy
theories about how the story in the bible about the beast establishing
one world government right before the end. Once again I had to rethink
the god thing again.
I got to a point in my life when I needed to stop using drugs and alcohol
and I tried to do it myself and I couldn't. When I found some people
who had found some success with their drug/alcohol problems, the majority
of what they had to tell me about how they did it was that they didn't
do it, cuz they couldn't. This made sense to me on account of the fact
that I had tried to do the same thing and failed time after time. They
said that it only worked when they found a god/higher power/creator/deity
of choice. This has also been my experience. I feel pretty lucky today
that I never got forced into any kind of religion, church or whatever
because most of that stuff that I've seen sucks.
One of the people who lived in the house who lived with me left the
area to live in a monastery and be a monk. At first it seemed like it
had to be a bad thing that he was there because it is a christian monastery.
I saw him later and he gave me a book that he had written with some
other people from the monastery. This book answered one of my first
questions about christianity. One of the major(to me anyway) points
of the first part of the book was that Jesus is the only way to God.
Jesus example/life seemed to consist of honesty, poverty, anti-imperialism,
humility. Most of the churches that claim christianity seem real heavy
into deceit, wealth, supportive of America/American Imperialism and
social status games. When Jesus said I am the only way to god, he cut
out the middle man. When the churches say that you have to give them
10% of your earnings and that you have to go to them to find Jesus,
they have bastardized the whole thing back into a business. One of the
other things I've noticed about most of the world religions is that
they all say "I am the only true God" in there somewhere. For some reason
people have an easier time killing each other in wars than they do realizing
that it's possible that the only difference between Allah and Jehovah
is the language of the beholder.
a life wondering about all of this I have come to a very few conclusions.
There is a power in this universe that burns the sun, spins the earth,
revolves the moon around us, grows plants, animals and us out of dirt,
blows the air, pulls water out of the sky, feeds everything and connects
all of us. This thing seems(to me anyway) to be contained in and animate
everything that there is in the world. Today I no longer think that
this power is a bearded, vengeful, warmonger. Maybe we made god in our
image instead of the other way around.
How many times have I been confronted by a store employee telling me
about how I can't come in and give them money because I'm not wearing
shoes. I never really seem to have the time to explain to them why I'm
barefoot before they think that my trying to talk to them about it is
just my way of disobeying their "authority". See it all started when
I got terrible foot rot. This happened as a result of wearing shoes
and no other reason. As soon as I quit wearing shoes the problem disappeared
and never came back. It's been years now.
reason for the requirement of shoes almost everywhere you go is that
it protects people from spreading contagious foot diseases. Of course
who ever thought up this crap failed to notice that in the absence of
shoes there isn't really much foot disease in the first place.
I wonder if the employees and managers and owners realize they are blindly
complying with rules not on the basis that they make sense, but instead,
on the basis of being told to comply with said rules. How many times
have I heard history teachers say that gassing Jews works only because
the people were compliant and said nothing even though they new it was
wrong, and that it couldn't happen here because we aren't like that.
(This was a letter to the editor in some Sacto paper. It was then in
Drop Out #2. It was written by my friend Pam. You can reach her at:
Pam Davis 1901 P St. #27 Sacramento CA 95814. I am stealing/reprinting
it because it more accurately sums up my feelings on what we call education
then I ever could hope to.)
of the article should have been "Can we save our teaching jobs?". Educators
statewide, with the help of the theme-recycling media, love to create
the image that they wish they could overhaul the schooling system but
they just haven't been able to galvanize enough support to bring in
that tidal wave of change. The dialog was the same as always: Fortieth
in the nation in per pupil spending, Multi-racial and non-english speaking
student population, kids from broken homes, too many kids in each class,
not enough school days in the year, not enough hours in each school
day, teachers not committed enough, teachers burning out...
is willing to state the obvious, so I will. People calling themselves
educators don't really know anything about learning, or they do know
in their hearts but are unwilling to acknowledge it. Learning, the kind
that matters, does not take place inside the classroom. Just ask anyone
about their schooling experience and whether they learned anything truly
useful. Ask a parent who watches, really watches,their own kids when
they are at home doing their own thing. Humans learn all the time just
by being alive in the world! Teachers, administrators, educational counselors
are trying desperately to justify their existence, and they have the
nation duped. Structured schooling as we all know it and experienced
it, is obsolete and ultimately damaging to actual learning, but to admit
this would means thousands and thousands of school employees out of
direct and simple solution to the public school mess is to remove the
compulsory attendance laws. The fact that the dropout rate is so high
should tell us That kids don't want to be there. The finger is always
pointed at the drop out with the question "why did you fail?" The question
should be "Why does everyone hate school? Could it be that school itself
is a failure?", or "What gives adults the right to force children to
do things they despise? Can we honestly say, with the world as it is,
that we know best?", or "Why would it be such a disaster for children
to play all day as they are growing up? Maybe they might learn something
If it were
made optional whether to attend school or not, then schools might finally
have to figure out what they are doing wrong, otherwise no one would
show up. Any teacher that didn't have something to offer would be out
of a job. Any school that continued to structure itself in ways that
are not about real learning would close down, because real learning
is compelling, interesting, motivating and if you know kids you know
they love it.
"They process the people like they process the food." Whenever I was
in school I didn't want to do the things I was being forced to. When
I simply refused to comply they would argue with me about how I didn't
know how negatively I was impacting my future. What I didn't know then,
and I do know now is that everything they had to say to me didn't matter
at all. All of their arguments were really just intimidation tactics.
They were actively threatening me with confinement, banishment and the
encouragement of abuse at the hands of my parents. The real lesson they
were trying to impart on me was OBEDIENCE. This is one of the primary
functions of the so called educational system, to intimidate all people
into a constant state of submitting to authority. If you doubt this
premise try out disobeying any of the hundreds of pointless orders given
to you in one school day. If these people really knew what was best
for our futures why would they actively encourage us to join the military,
they did that to some of the boys my age who later ended up murdering
and being murdered in Iraq. Also there is now a new slew of human toxicity
problems due to the "anecdotes" they injected into all the desert storm
soldiers. Those are really the actions of caring guidance givers.
ever need to argue with the school authorities about why you should
or shouldn't do this or that. Just ask them why, if they are RIGHT can't
they sway your opinion on the basis of superior logic rather than fear,
intimidation and abuse.