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Adventures in Baby Hitting

Whenever a conversation about skateboarding comes up you always get the question of who's your favorite skater fired at you. The question creeps it's way into the conversation like a politician into a brothel.

I myself have lost touch with the professional scene over the last while. So I feel my opinion shouldn't really be acknowledged. I don't really know why some people bother asking me at all. But it's probably one of those questions you ask where you don't really care what the person says, you just hope they ask you the same question because you have a really nifty answer.

Often when I don't have a response I come away with the feeling that I should of had an answer. Sometimes I've had a response but it was so unthought out it comes off more unusual and confusing than some NCAA team names (the Volunteers, I mean come on).

So I've taken it upon myself to come up with an intelligent answer to the question.

I admit I often want to fall back on Koston. I mean he is the most talented by far. I'm sure some people aren't going to agree with me on that. I'm sure some half pipe hessian's will tell you that some vert guy is the best. Well actually forget I said anything about anyone being the best. The point I'm trying to make is that the best isn't necessarily your favorite. The best shouldn't be your favorite. Where's the originality in saying the best pro is your favorite? The answer is more unoriginal than doing it missionary in a porn.

Your favorite skater should be some individual that you enjoy seeing. He should be unique at least to you. Saying the top guy is your favorite is saying that you haven't really thought about the question at all. I guess it could be argued that the question itself shouldn't really be thought about. You might say that skateboarding should be for fun not for emulating and discussing your favorite pros ( am I playing devil's advocate with myself? ). But if you would be one to raise such an argument I guess I've won a small battle in getting you to read this far.

Well as I was saying before I derailed faster than Tony Danza's career that I've come up with my favorite pro.

My favorite pro would have to be Neal Mims. Sure his skating is amazing but I'll admit that he isn't in the upper bracket of pros. In fact I'm not even one hundred per cent sure he even is pro. His skating talent is only half the reason he's my favorite.

Aside from his skating I'd have to say I admire his slams. With a lot of the handrail killing Jesus Christ superstars of today you rarely see them take any bails. They're out there grinding rails that have more stairs and kinks than Madonna's birthday cake has candles and they rarely kiss the concrete... literally. Neal Mims on the other hand has paid the price that some of these handrails cost.

I remember in the Reason when he slams on his face. The shot of him in the hospital was harder to watch than Granny Gang Bang. I remember that slam more than much of the video parts of him that I've seen.

And add to it the fact that the slams have done seemingly nothing to stop his path of property destruction. The slam hasn't caused him to miss a beat as far as I know. That sums up what being a professional is all about to me( I guess I should clarify that I mean professional athlete ).

Well I'm sure you're tired of looking at the computer screen and hearing its electronic hum. The radiation is probably seeping into your brain and making you more nauseous than if Rosie O' Donnell forgot to wear clothes on that piece of shit she calls a show. You'll also have to excuse me for not having any pictures to draw or hold your attention. I myself usually scan a skateboard site for pictures first. If the site looks really interesting I might read some stuff in it. So if you're like me or even if you aren't I'd like to thank you for taking some time to read this, and word to your mother ship.

-Mike Lynch